Facts and Funnies about Mom’s Smart Car Albert

26 Sep

This is Albert.  Albert is mom’s Smart car.  I know. I know.  Mom’s names her cars.  She’s weird like that – snorts.  In this picture, it almost looks like Albert is smiling.  And you know what is worse than mommy naming her cars?  She and dad talk to Albert like a person.  I think that’s just weird.  But hey, she loves her little car.  Have you made the connection yet with mom and her love of small things?  Look at me, I’m small too.  Weird or what huh?

Mom has had Albert for a couple of years now and she loves him as much today as she did when she bought him.  She gets jokes about him every day from friends, family and co-workers.  I thought I would take this time to tell you some myths and facts about Albert.

#1 – Mom has a wicked sense of humor, if you haven’t caught on to that by now – snorts.  Since it is a Smart Car, she named it Albert.  You know after Albert Einstein.  This is a FACT.

#2 – Albert is a gas powered Smart Fortwo Passion.  He is only three cylinders and does great on gas.  Mom fills up about once a month for around $25.00.  This is a FACT. 

#3 – Oil changes are every 10,000 miles!  This is a FACT.  When you get your oil changed, mom ‘resets’ her calculator in the car, it counts down from 10,000 to let her know when it’s time for the next oil change.  She averages getting it changed around once a year.

 #4 – You can go shopping in it.  This is a FACT.  Mommy has been grocery shopping and put over $200.00 worth of groceries in the back of it with no problems!  And, the back is a perfect place for me to hang out when we are driving all around town.

#5 – Having a Smart car is like being in a club.  This is a FACT.  When mommy passes another Smart car, it’s like they’re old friends.  They honk horns and wave at each.  It’s embarrassing when I’m in the car – snorts.

#6 – Yes it is true.  Mommy took Albert to the car wash one weekend with daddy.  It was one of those drive thru places.  They got stuck in the middle because Albert didn’t weigh enough for the track to pick him up.  They learned their lesson on this one – snorts

These are just a few comments mommy has heard about Albert.  I’m not sure which one I feel sorrier for – mommy or Albert – snorts

“Where is the wind up key on that toy?”  This is actually a funny thing because there is a part that you can order to attach to the back of the car to look like a wind up toy.  Mommy has really thought about it.

“Hey, I tripped over your car in the parking lot.”

When there’s a big storm outside and mommy is at work, they will tell her, “Hey, you better go tie down your car, it’s going to get blown away”. OR “You need to put floaties on that car, a storm is a coming.”

“Hey, it looks like they installed a new speed bump in the parking lot.  Oh no, my bad.  It’s just your car.”

“Where do you buy your tires?  Lawn mower section of Home Depot?”

“You know why they named it Smart Car?  Because Golf Cart was already taken.”

“Better make sure a bird doesn’t take a crap on it.  It will total it out.”

“You need to wash your car?  I’ll throw a cup of water on it for you.”


Posted by on 09/26/2013 in Bacon


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39 responses to “Facts and Funnies about Mom’s Smart Car Albert

  1. fozziemum

    09/26/2013 at 2:45 am

    Omg Bwahahahahaah Albert sure is the brunt of many cruel jokes Bacon!! I name my cars too my Rodeo is Harry high pants (because it’s up high) or the Canyanero..after that ridiculous Simpsons song which cracks me up because I am totally juvenile hehehe ….and I talk to her …when huby drives her I have rules..don’t dance while driving she doesn’t ‘roll’ like that (except for me when I get my bop on in the car by myself) don’t drive like a man because she doesn’t ‘roll’ like that either…hehe I guess we are odd us humans but pee yew if that was a windy pop in that smart car that blew it up all big and swollen must have been a curry night one bwahahahhahaha hugs Fozziemum….brummbrummm xxxx

    • PigLove

      09/26/2013 at 9:39 am

      Snorts. I love it! It’s all in good fun isn’t it? Mom takes a lot of riding about Albert but she doesn’t mind. She just goes with it and smiles… especially when she’s at the gas pumps – snorts. Albert is always telling on daddy for not putting on his seatbelt fast enough. Mommy just laughs at daddy when he starts fussing at Albert for ‘telling on him’. Me and Albert get along just fine. I think he likes it when I tag along in the back area snorting away in traffic. XOXo – Bacon

      • fozziemum

        09/27/2013 at 5:03 am

        I would pay good money to be behind you on the road know if I was to see that where I live I would follow the person home and demand a piggie kiss….and promptly get arrested as a weird pig stalking odd bod bwahahahahahahh Hugs Fozziemum xxx

      • PigLove

        09/27/2013 at 9:05 am

        Snorts. And I would give your piggy kisses my dear friend. I’ve been in the car oinking away minding my own business looking out the windows when mom has pulled up to a stop light. People around us beep their horns and points. A couple of times, people have rolled down their windows and asked mommy if I was a ‘real’ pig… as if there is any other kind, right? XOXO – Bacon

      • fozziemum

        09/27/2013 at 9:14 am

        Baabaababaaa…Bacon when we took Oscar (the sheepie with the white legwarmers ) to the vet to get his boy bits done(they hadn’t come off and he was getting very romantic with me….awkward/dangerous) we had to drive into town..the looks…and our old sheep that was killed by doggies years ago when he was first attacked I took him to the vets (in my sheep pj’s) and a lady in the waiting room said oh poor doggie!!! just because he was a black lamb??? he looked nothing like a dog!! hahahah Fozziemum xxx

      • PigLove

        09/27/2013 at 9:17 am

        Snorts. That is too funny. Sometimes people think I’m a dog until they see my snout. Then, they can’t believe I’m a pig. I don’t know why? People are funny like that. XOXO – Bacon
        P.S. You have sheep pajamas – snorts. sshhh – don’t tell mommy I told you. She has a sock monkey onsie that she wears.

      • fozziemum

        09/27/2013 at 9:22 am

        People are odd Bacon 🙂 and I was eyeing off a onsie awhile ago but couldn’t make up my mind which one 🙂 I have snoopy pj’s sheep pj’s monkey pj’s hehe love em..get my comfy on big time in them 🙂 xx Fozziemum

      • PigLove

        09/27/2013 at 10:48 am

        That is so adorable my friend!! I’m going to have to sneak a picture of mommy with her sock monkey holding her sock monkey – snorts. XOXO – Bacon

      • fozziemum

        09/27/2013 at 10:52 am

        Oh please do Bacon hehehe 🙂 hugs Fozziemum xx

  2. gentlestitches

    09/26/2013 at 3:20 am

    Your Mom is very smart herself and ahead of her time. These cars are the intelligent answer to many of our problems. Having said that, I must also say “those jokes are hilarious, especially the last one!” 🙂

    • PigLove

      09/26/2013 at 9:40 am

      Snorts – they are funny! Of course, the car has grown on daddy. Daddy had bought mom a sports car before Albert. That thing was F.A.S.T. but it also sucked up gas like you wouldn’t believe! So when mommy decided she wanted to trade it in for Albert, I’m not sure who hit the ground faster – daddy or the salesman – snorts. XOXO – Bacon

  3. speedyrabbit

    09/26/2013 at 4:07 am

    Hehehe but Albert is a cute little car,xx Speedy

    • PigLove

      09/26/2013 at 9:42 am

      Thank you my friend. I’m kind of keen on him myself. I think it’s because we are both small. And small things are cute as buttons. Just like you, right my friend? XOXO – Bacon

  4. evilsquirrel13

    09/26/2013 at 5:55 am

    They used to make fun of the Yugo too….. well, OK, The Yugo was a miniature piece of crap. I’d like to see more of these cars on the road in the future. It’s time for America to finally let go of its fascination with big honking SUV’s and engines with umpteen cylinders that annihilate gas…

    • PigLove

      09/26/2013 at 9:44 am

      Exactly! Albert is a wonderful little car. He make look small but he drives like a big car. When mom and dad are inside of it driving, they don’t feel like they are in a tight spot… and I still have a spot in the back which makes it all the better. 🙂 XOXO – Bacon
      P.S. Ssshh – come closer. I don’t want mom to hear me telling on her. Her and dad went to a stadium not too far away from us last weekend and mom was doing donuts in the parking lot! Can you believe my mom was doing that?! AND, she let my daddy do it too – and he’s blind. It was a hoot!! I thought they were going to pee on themselves they were laughing so hard. They were acting like juveniles – juvenile delinquents that is! snorts XOXO – Bacon

      • evilsquirrel13

        09/26/2013 at 9:59 am

        Oh my!!! Some humans just never grow up, do they?

      • PigLove

        09/26/2013 at 10:36 am

        Believe my parents never did. It’s so embarrassing sometimes – snorts. XOXO – Bacon

  5. Reilly Cowspotdog

    09/26/2013 at 6:46 am

    They are so cute…Mom looked at getting one too but we live on a in an area that has major trucking and she was scared of not being seen by one. We have a a c-max hybrid called kitty (because she purrs like a kitty) _Yeah Mom loves to name her cars too 🙂

    • PigLove

      09/26/2013 at 9:45 am

      Snorts – I love it! It’s funny because mom’s is the only blue one around. When she’s driving all over the county to/from work, a lot of people recognize her just by the car. They wave, beep horns and some of her co-workers will turn on their emergency lights at her – it’s a hoot! XOXO – Bacon

  6. onespoiledcat

    09/26/2013 at 7:07 am

    Well Mom and I think Albert is adorable….we see Smart cars in our town once in a while. Mom says they’re “Sammy-sized”…..perhaps I should put one on my Christmas wish list? It would have to be ginger colored though….with stripes…..I think your Mom should get that key thing for the back of Albert!!! Way cool!!!

    Kitty Hugs, Sammy

    • PigLove

      09/26/2013 at 9:47 am

      Snorts. Sammy-sized – I like that! Put it on your list. My mommy had it on your Christmas list the year before she got hers. Daddy bought her a little Matchbox toy and put it under the tree. It was too funny! Daddy told mommy to get the key thingy. I hope she does. It would be a snort! XOXO – Bacon

  7. susieandsidebite

    09/26/2013 at 9:15 am

    Hey, they are awesome, you need to get Albert a big truck air horn to scare the c^#* out of other drivers with big gas wasting plastic junk. We got a place two miles away that sells those things, bet there is fifty where you got only park 20 regular vehicles, Mom thinks they are cute!

    The Mad Scots

    • PigLove

      09/26/2013 at 9:48 am

      snorts – I like that idea of the horn. It’s kind of funny when mom/dad go out to eat – trust me they do a lot of that – snorts. People will come out of the restaurant, point and laugh at her car and walk over to look through the windows. Mommy has threatened as a joke to get a recording so when she sees people close to it, she can hit a button so Albert will say something like, “Looky no touchy” or “Step away from the small car”. You know, just to see them jump back and laugh. Snorts. XOXO – Bacon

  8. easyweimaraner

    09/26/2013 at 10:57 am

    Ha, I would like to see the faces of the jokers when your mom only needs only 25 bucks on the gas station. All our cars had and have names too, currently we have the Elephant Skater and my Grampy has FEDO (for female dog with B). Once my mom had a prehistoric beetle, called “The Purple Snail” because that thingy was as “fast” as Mrs: Escargot and my mom was always the laughing stock :o)

    • PigLove

      09/26/2013 at 11:12 am

      oh snorts – I love it!! The Purple Snail – oh I can’t breathe. XOXO – Bacon

  9. FreeRangeCow

    09/26/2013 at 12:12 pm

    Oh! Awesome! I did not know many of the facts and I laughed at the jokes. I drive a Toyota Prius and hubby often jokes he needs a shot of testosterone when he sits in it. LOL!

    • PigLove

      09/26/2013 at 12:24 pm

      Snorts – PLOL (piggy laughing out loud). Daddy says that all of the time about Albert. He has gotten much better about it. XOXO – Bacon

  10. Kuruk

    09/26/2013 at 12:22 pm

    Mama named our car tooowooowooooo! His name is Sal, cuz he’s her pal who helps us get around! WOL! Woooooowoooooo!

    • PigLove

      09/26/2013 at 12:24 pm

      I love it – Sal. Awesome my friend!! XOXO – Bacon

  11. katsrus

    09/26/2013 at 5:50 pm

    I think she is pretty smart to have that car. Jokes or not. Especially going to the gas station. She could make fun of anyone else. OMG the fart joke is so funny.
    Sue B

    • PigLove

      09/26/2013 at 7:33 pm

      Snorts. I look at it like this. The more money she saves on gas, the more that money can go into my food allowance. Right? XOXO – Bacon

  12. The Dancing Rider

    09/26/2013 at 7:27 pm

    Albert is very cute. We have a red one in our neighborhood. Your mom is a smart mom, too!

    • PigLove

      09/26/2013 at 7:35 pm

      Aaww thanks sweet friend. I’ll be sure to tell her that. XOXO – Bacon

  13. Mags Corner

    09/26/2013 at 10:58 pm

    Sweet Bacon we think your mom’s Albert is cute and economical these days that is a huge plus. We have only seen one of them around our area. Too many 18 wheelers and I think people are a bit leery of getting a smart car because of all those big trucks. We really enjoyed this post. Hugs and snout kisses

    • PigLove

      09/27/2013 at 9:01 am

      Thank you my friend. We live kind of in the burbs as dad says. There’s traffic but nothing really heavy. XOXO – Bacon

  14. Three Well Beings

    09/27/2013 at 12:49 am

    I think Smart Cars are just the cutest things! I am afraid in our very bad traffic with entirely too many pileups I’d be a little afraid to take Albert out for a spin. He might get hurt! But he’s the perfect car—efficient and economical, while also being very stylish!

    • PigLove

      09/27/2013 at 9:02 am

      Thank you my friend. He fits perfect in our little family. Mom has another car too but I know Albert is her favorite… just like I’m her favorite here – snorts. XOXO – Bacon

  15. Leo

    09/27/2013 at 5:22 am

    Cars do have personalities bacon, just like piggies. I think I must give my new car a name.

    • PigLove

      09/27/2013 at 9:06 am

      Yes you must my friend. And when you do, please share with me. I would love to know it’s name. 🙂 XOXO – Bacon


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