You know, normally this day would not bother me. BUT, thanks to daddy I’m a nervous wreck this morning. For some odd reason, mommy gave him control of the television remote last night thus he picked movie night. He picked – you got it – Friday the 13th. Mommy tried to warn me that it wasn’t pig rated and I should go to my room and watch my television. I didn’t listen because I’m a big pig. Why didn’t I listen?? After the movie, which I might add is oh so scary!, dad gently reminded me that today is Friday the 13th. Gee dad, thanks so much for that wonderful and so caring reminder.
Today’s not scary. It’s just a date, right. Repeat after me. It’s just a number. Numbers are not scary. Numbers are our friends. Right? I’m trying to convince
myself you that there is nothing wrong with today being that evil Friday the 13th. Really… it’s just a date.
There’s lots of Fridays in the month. There’s a 13th in every month. It happens every month. So what’s the big deal? Who am I trying to convince? Today is a scary day. It’s Friday the 13th! I’ve watched the movie and what has been watched can not be unwatched.
And dad, he is milking this day for all of what it is worth. He is SO not helping. I know you are just paying me back for all of the times that I have ‘barked’ and oinked at you. For all of the times that I wouldn’t share mommy with you. I know pay back is bad.
But really, I woke up to this mask hanging on my bedroom door. Are you trying to give this little pig a heart attack so early in the morning? You knew I was already flipping out with the date and the movie. Bad daddy – bad!
Then daddy, if you really are my daddy – snorts, you fixed me breakfast this morning. I should have known you were up to no good by doing that. You never fix me breakfast – always mommy. And everyone, you’re probably thinking that was real sweet of ole dad doing that, right? Until he called me for breakfast. “Jason, your breakfast is ready.” Really? You’ve gone just too far with that one dad of mine.
Dad got mom up for the worky place this morning. Can you believe that dad had the nerve to bring up sending me to piggy camp? What, my head went up fast. What did I hear? Why? I gave dad the one eyed slant glare. What was he up to? I’ve barely made the outside back yard and you have piggy camp in mind? Mom was hesitant as well. I’ve trained her. And then dad said where. Camp Crystal Lake – thud – piggy down. Dad, I will pay you back with this date. Really, I will.
Happy Friday the 13th my friends.