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Dear Bacon

03 Sep

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Dear Bacon,
Hey, I’m just trying to help out here around the house. The humans said I don’t pull my weight. That’s all I’m doing – trying to help out with the everyday chores. I thought I would help out with dinner. I’m sure it will taste like chicken – evil bark. Signed Chef Boy Ring Dog

Dear Chef Boy Ring Dog,

Step away from the stove my friend. Purr things are not made for eating. They are made for loving. Trust me, they do not taste like chicken. I’ve licked our purr things here at the Hotel Thompson. They taste nothing like chicken. Not even good. You don’t want any of that. Go find you some kibbles. Now that’s a meal.

 

20130531-235916.jpgDear Bacon,
I know you have a lot of horsey friends. Can I be your friend to? I think we have some similar markings. I’m hoping that you can help me out with a problem I have. Am I a black horse with white spots or am I a white horse with black spots? Signed Confucius Spots

Dear Confucius Spots,

I would love to be your friend! I’m so touched that you asked. As for your problem. Does it really matter? All that *does* matter is that you know you are beautiful either way. I mean that from the heart – You are stunning – just stunning my new friend.

 

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Dear Bacon,
What can I say, I’m a thrill seeker. Anything to get my heart pumping, I just LOVE to do. I know it drives Old McDonald over the edge here at the farm. I can’t help it though. Don’t you just love the excitement? Signed Evil Cowknivel

Dear Evil Cowknivel,

My friend, there is excitement and then there is excitement. Personally, I find it exciting just walking to the front room from my bedroom without getting the wrath of Hemi slapping my hind quarters. But, each to their own ways. Try not to give Old McDonald a heart attack in some of your activities. And heck, if you are going to take a risk, start charging admission so at least you can help the farm out. You know? Carry on my friend.

 

20130531-235933.jpgDear Bacon,
I’m trying to ‘bulk’ up. My friends say I’m skinny and scrawny. Do you think it’s working? Signed Squirt

Dear Squirt,

Oh little guy, give it some time. You will grow into all of that fur. You don’t need to lift weights to do that. And tell your friends to quit bullying you. There is no room for bullying in this time and age – NONE WHATSOEVER. You are just fine the way you are.

 

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Dear Bacon,

Who says that skateboarding is just for guys and the humans. If I want to burn the roads up, why can’t I? Everyone says it’s just a guy sport. Why? Who makes up these rules? Chicks rule – we should make up the rules, right? Signed Atonia Hawk

Dear Atonia Hawk,

I’m not arguing with that, really I’m not. I’ve seen my human mom do some amazing guy things. I say if you are good at, then practice makes perfect. Don’t take any flack – show them whatcha got my furry friend!

 

 

Remember Friends โ€“ Keep sending your pictures/questions to me at Baconthompson@gmail.com

 
12 Comments

Posted by on 09/03/2013 in Dear Bacon

 

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12 responses to “Dear Bacon

  1. agatapokutycka

    09/03/2013 at 6:40 am

    funny like always.. thank you

     
    • PigLove

      09/03/2013 at 8:54 am

      aaww – you’re too sweet to me. Thank you my friend. XOXO – Bacon

       
  2. Susie and Sidebite

    09/03/2013 at 8:33 am

    Us animals could rule the world, and if them stupid peeps keep going we will, Power to the animal kingdom!

    The Ruling Mad Scots

     
    • PigLove

      09/03/2013 at 8:57 am

      Oh most definitely. I am so with you on this one. Power to the animal kingdom!! XOXO – Bacon

       
  3. katiebblogs

    09/03/2013 at 9:36 am

    Your poor horsey friend sure seems confused Bacon! We like letters from your furry friends ๐Ÿ™‚ We hope you had a great weekend! Cooler weather is coming…cuddle time better be on demand over here or I’m gonna find some cabinets to open and mess up the contents. Good idea, right, Bacon?

     
    • PigLove

      09/03/2013 at 9:51 am

      Most definitely! I’m really disliking this warm weather. I want snuggleable loveable weather please! XOXO – Bacon

       
  4. Miss Harper Lee

    09/03/2013 at 11:39 am

    You are so wise, Bacon. I’ll bet your mailbox just overflows with animals from far and wide seeking your sage advice.
    Oops, just reread that and I should say that your mailbox overflows with *messages from* animals, not with the actual animals. That could be a problem. ๐Ÿ˜‰

     
    • PigLove

      09/03/2013 at 1:32 pm

      My email does get a lot of use. Who would have thought that a pig having email would be so useful? I love my Dear Bacon letters. They really keep me on my hooves. You know the old saying, “Treat others how you want to be treated”. I’m a firm believer. Mommy taught me that early in my years. XOXO – Bacon

       
  5. evilsquirrel13

    09/03/2013 at 11:40 am

    I think this is my favorite feature on your blog, Bacon! Keep up the good work with these advice columns!

     
    • PigLove

      09/03/2013 at 1:33 pm

      Thank you so much my friend. I do love doing these Dear Bacon issues on Tuesdays. They are a lot of fun for me and I hope for everyone else ๐Ÿ™‚ XOXO – Bacon

       
  6. easyweimaraner

    09/03/2013 at 12:54 pm

    hahaha a kitty would taste like chicken? I’m not sure :o)

     
    • PigLove

      09/03/2013 at 1:33 pm

      Most definitely they don’t. Trust me. I’ve licked and maybe nibbled on the two purr things here. Eeeww – yucky. NOTHING like chicken and I know chicken my friend – snorts. XOXO -Bacon

       

This piggy would love to snort with you :)

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