Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,
You’ve caught us.  This is what we do when the humans aren’t looking.  ssshh – kind of keep it to yourself okay.  You’re welcomed to join us anytime – just bring your lightsaber.  Signed Squirrel Wars

Dear Squirrel Wars,

Hey – I’m in!  This looks like fun.  Party in the back of the Hotel Thompson this weekend.  I’ll call Journalist Rocky the Squirrel to get the invites out.  Thanks my friends!

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Dear Bacon,
Part of fitting in is the disguise.  I’ve been hanging out on the pier now for two whole days and no one has noticed me.  I think it’s the hat – maybe the fishing rod.  So I now know the answer to life’s greatest problem – blend in with the humans.  What do you think?  You want me to get you a rod and hat to come out with me?  Signed BirdGilligan

Dear BirdGilligan,

WOW!  I’m glad you told me who you were, I would have never guessed it!  You do blend in so well.  I’m wondering if I wore that outfit would humans ever think it was me?  How about I try to meet you soon and we can test that theory?  But first of all, I have to ask.  Can you lift 45 pounds?  Because if the humans catch on, you gotta get me out of there before they start looking at you as a two piece and me as bar-be-que.  Shivers.

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Dear Bacon,
I’m in the police academy trying out for a police officer.  I think I have the gun stance down.  You think?  Why don’t you come join me?  I’ve heard it runs in your family and perhaps someone in the family can put in a good word for us?  Signed Stop or I’ll Shoot

Dear Stop or I’ll Shoot,

That is a good stance.  I’m impressed.  I don’t think that I’m ‘police officer’ material in that way though.  My hooves – well they just get in the way when I try to hold some heat.  I’m more of a Pig9… you know something like a K9 but with me, an oinker.  With this snout, I think I can be trained to smell out all of the bad things out there.  But hey, what if we were partners?  You the bad cop and me the good cop – raises eyebrows.  That would work partner!

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Dear Bacon,
HELP!  There’s something on my noise and I can’t see it.  It tickles.  Hurry, what is it?  Is it dangerous?!  Signed Crossed Eyes

Dear Crossed Eyes,

Snort giggles.  Never fear my purr friend.  It’s just a lady bug.  They are good luck.  I think she likes you.  Maybe be nice to her and make a new friend.  There’s nothing to harm you little guy.

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Dear Bacon,

I think me and my friend are twins!  We both have some of the same characteristics – you know like being devious and mischievous – purr laugh.  I think it’s the constant smile that pulls the humans into our lives.  There’s only one small, tiny, little difference.  My friend can reshape his body to frighten peeps.  I can almost do that… not the way he does but I’m learning.  Signed Cheshire in Training

Dear Cheshire in Training,

WOW – I almost couldn’t tell the difference between you two.  That smile – it’s almost identical my friend.  Perhaps you can play his stunt double in real life?  That’s always an idea.  Just think of the fame and fortune you would have.  Carry on my friend and keep smiling.

 

Remember friends – keep sending you pictures and questions to me at Baconthompson@gmail.com