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Dear Bacon

23 Oct

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Dear Bacon,
I hate mornings. No, that’s wrong. I despise mornings. Do you have this problem? Signed Anti Mornings

Dear Anti Mornings,
Maybe, just maybe, you’re looking at the mornings in the wrong light. I get up for the food – I love food so that’s a plus. I also get up because that’s my snuggly piggy mommy time. I love snuggly time. After mom goes to the worky place, I go back to bed. But, thats fine because I’ve already accomplished the morning. Think about making a few changes in your life in the mornings and see if that doesn’t work out better for you.
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Dear Bacon,

Something happened.  I’m not sure how it happened but it happened.  I was going for the bird and somehow that pesky bird got me in its cage and shut the door.  Shaking head.  I gotta be doing something wrong.  Any words of wisdom?  Signed Caged Kitty

Dear Caged Kitty,

It is a funny picture.  Have you ever watched the cartoon Tweety and Sylvester?  It’s very similar to your situation.  Maybe quit trying to eat the pretty birdy and try to become friends with little tweet tweet.  I’m sure then you won’t get locked up behind bars.

 

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Dear Bacon,

This is my 9th day in captivity and I don’t think my fellow cell mates have a clue to me being in here yet.  They think I’m one of them.  I think it’s hilarious.  I can get out at any time.  I just want to see how long they keep confiding in me until they figure it out.  Signed Secret Agent Feline

Dear Secret Agent Feline,

You are too funny.  You should write a short story on everything you learned from those silly rabbits.  Send it to me.  I’ll post it on here.  I’m sure it would be good laugh that everyone would enjoy!

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Dear Bacon,

Some days when I want to feel like a bad puddy cat, I put on my wig and climb trees.  It freaks out animals, small children and older folks in my neighborhood.  They actually think I’m a lion.  I’m thinking of wearing this for Halloween.  What do you think?  Signed Roar

Dear Roar,

I can’t say much my little friend.  I like to wear a cape around town.  I think it’s original of you to wear your wig.  Somehow I think it really becomes you.  If I was walking down your street and saw you in a tree, I would be afraid.  I’m shaking now as I type this.  Go for it my little man – go for it!

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Dear Bacon,

Me and the boys like to get together on the weekends to play a little cards.  What say  you pop over one night and play with us.  We don’t play for money – just nuts.  Do you like nuts?  Signed Poker Trio

Dear Poker Trio,

I’ve never played cards before let alone poker.  I’m going to have to on line and practice up a bit.  I’m a fast learner.  I think I can do this.  Instead of nuts, how about I bring a bag of carrots?  Would that work for ya’ll?  Thanks for the invite!

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20121023-065855.jpgDear Bacon,

My name is Stripes and I have a best friend named Stretch.  When I get nervous or afraid, well you can see the picture.  Stretch takes it pretty good but I know the word is getting around the jungle that I’m a fraidy zebra.  What’s a fellow to do?  Signed Stripes Forever

Dear Stripes Forever,

WOW – that is some friend you have there.  First of all I have to ask you to come down off of Stretch.  Second of all Stretch needs to go see a chiropractor because I’m sure you have thrown that neck out on him.  Third, breath my fellow four legged friend.  You need to stand your ground and learn not to be afraid.  Perhaps Stretch can help you with this.  Whenever you are feeling afraid, start telling yourself that you are strong, you are a ZEBRA.  Sing a song in your head, picture your fellow animals without their clothes on – do anything but show them your afraid.  You can do this – I know you can!!  Let me know how things turn out.

 
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Posted by on 10/23/2012 in Uncategorized

 

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This piggy would love to snort with you :)

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