I got my first ouchie tonight. I guess that’s not bad considering I’ve been ouchie free for the past year of my life. But darn it – it hurts. It was my fault. Let me admit that first. This is what happened.
Last night, mom put me to bed. At night, I sleep in this huge crate. The door of the crate actually ‘use’ to shut on its own. Shakes piggy head – yeah I might have done that. Mom and dad use a bungy cord to shut it now. I have to have it shut at night. First of all, it’s my safety zone and second of all – do you really want a pig loose in the house while you sleep at night? Take it first hand from me, it’s not a good idea.
So last night, mom kisses me goodnight and puts me to bed as usual. Well, I’m a pig…curious by nature if you will. I decided to see if I could get out of my crate to go play throughout the house. Insert James Bond music now. Sounded like an awesome idea to me, right? So, I kept pushing against my door until I saw a little opening it. I’ve seen the cats do this so I know it works. What they didn’t explain to me was that they’re mostly fur and squeeze through small openings. I on the other hand don’t have so much fur. I’m all belly. I held my breath in and squeeze through. Well, I by pushing through I scraped the top part of my back – ouchie! But on the other hand, I was FREE!
The first place I went was the front room. Of course I brought blankie with me…. you know there’s nothing like seeing a miniature pot bellied pig dragging a king size blankie down the hall and throughout the house. I jumped on the couches, I pushed all of the pillows off of the couch and I jumped on them repeatedly. I pulled all of my toys out of the playbox, I played with them and then I moved to the kitchen when I got bored.
The kitchen is a wonderful place. The piggy gate wasn’t closed because everyone was asleep. Snicker – good for me. The kitchen is where all of the food comes from. I know this because I watch mommy in there making magic. I waddled over to the big black food box. With enough pressure from my snout, I was able to open the magical door. A light went on and it scared me. I jumped back and the magical door slid open. WOW – for a moment I actually thought I heard angels singing. I went over to investigate the glow and stuck my snout in the door. SHUT THE FRONT DOOR – that thing was COLD – shivers. I started moving things around and everything was as hard as a rock. This must be what they call the freeze box. Darn it – wrong part of the refrigerator. I looked up to see the fridge part above the freezer. Darn these short legs. I couldn’t reach that part.
I guess I made some loud noises in my midnight adventure. A few minutes later, mom came around the corner slowly peaking into the kitchen. That’s how she found me. Sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor, freezer open with that magical glow licking ice. So, yeah, I guess it was fun and giggles at that time until she saw my back. After that, she kind of freaked out and lost it. She started getting fussy and playing doctor with it. Geez mom, it’s just a little scrape. She made me take some godforsaken medicine and put bubble stuff on my back. Afterwards, she gave me a treat (which is always good), I went potty and she walked me back to bed.
Yes, we also had a little prayer meeting about the Great Pig Escape and Midnight Adventure. I won’t be doing that again anytime soon.