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Daily Archives: 10/09/2012

Dear Bacon

20121009-213252.jpgDear Bacon,

I’ve read on your posts that your parents like to ‘pig tip’ you.  LOL – I thought that was so funny… pig tipping.  Yeah, it was real funny until my parents read it and now they want to ‘elephant tip’.  You think you can have your mom hold back a little on the pig tipping?  It’s giving my parents ideas.  Signed Trunk Up

Dear Trunk Up,

Ouch.  Sorry for that little bro.  I’ll talk to mom and show her your email.  You do look awfully cute like that though.  Love your trunk.  I only have a snout.  If I had a trunk, the possibilties are endless!  HUGS

 

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Dear Bacon,
My dad is like your mom.  He thinks he needs to take pictures of my every move.  Sometimes when one is sleeping, that is called a private moment for a reason.  Yes, I sleep with my tongue hanging out.  Some humans drool, right?  Do you sleep with your tongue out?  Signed CatNap

Dear CatNap,

AAWW – you are so cute!  I have been known to drool while I sleep.  I also have been told that it looks like I’m smiling when I sleep.  Mom calls me her perfect little angel when I sleep. We all sleep differently.  Don’t worry about it at all. 

 

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Dear Bacon,
My humans are not so happy with me.  They keep trying to take the dreaded Christmas card picture and well I keep looking like this.  I tell them that this is MY happy face but they don’t get it.  What can I do?  Signed Smiley

Dear Smiley,

Some people just show emotions in different ways.  They need to understand.  So you’re not ‘smiling’ in your picture.  You are so cute in it though.  I just want to squeeze you and eat you up… okay maybe not eat you up but you get the drift.  Maybe you can work on the eyes – don’t look so surprised when the camera is flashing.  Perhaps that would help you out.  HUGS

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20121009-213610.jpgDear Bacon,
I have a favorite toy that I sleep with, my Elmo.  Do you have a favorite toy that you like to cuddle with?  Signed Catelmo

Dear Catelmo,

Yes I do have a favorite toy that I like to cuddle with.  It’s called my mom – snort.  Other than that, I have a favorite blankie.  It’s my king size Egyptian cotton cuddly blankie.  I love that blankie!  I roll around in it, sleep with it, drag it around the house and play on it. 

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Dear Bacon,
I think I have a problem.  My vision has been getting worse lately.  I can’t see to get around the farm anymore.  I’m afraid that Farmer Dale is going to get rid of me if I keep running into trees.  What am I to do?  Signed Emo

Dear Emo,

Just a thought at first glance… have you thought about a haircut?  You look like one of the Beatles with that haircut now.  I can almost bet you that you will have amazing vision once you get a proper haircut.  Why don’t you ask Farmer Dale to give you a little trim.  Let me know how that works out for you my friend.

 
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The Great Pig Escape – Midnight Adventure

I got my first ouchie tonight.  I guess that’s not bad considering I’ve been ouchie free for the past year of my life.  But darn it – it hurts.  It was my fault.  Let me admit that first.  This is what happened.

Last night, mom put me to bed.  At night, I sleep in this huge crate.  The door of the crate actually ‘use’ to shut on its own.  Shakes piggy head – yeah I might have done that.  Mom and dad use a bungy cord to shut it now.  I have to have it shut at night.  First of all, it’s my safety zone and second of all – do you really want a pig loose in the house while you sleep at night?  Take it first hand from me, it’s not a good idea. 

So last night, mom kisses me goodnight and puts me to bed as usual.  Well, I’m a pig…curious by nature if you will.  I decided to see if I could get out of my crate to go play throughout the house. Insert James Bond music now.  Sounded like an awesome idea to me, right?  So, I kept pushing against my door until I saw a little opening it.  I’ve seen the cats do this so I know it works.  What they didn’t explain to me was that they’re mostly fur and squeeze through small openings.  I on the other hand don’t have so much fur.  I’m all belly.  I held my breath in and squeeze through.  Well, I by pushing through I scraped the top part of my back – ouchie!  But on the other hand, I was FREE! 

The first place I went was the front room.  Of course I brought blankie with me…. you know there’s nothing like seeing a miniature pot bellied pig dragging a king size blankie down the hall and throughout the house.  I jumped on the couches, I pushed all of the pillows off of the couch and I jumped on them repeatedly.  I pulled all of my toys out of the playbox, I played with them and then I moved to the kitchen when I got bored.

The kitchen is a wonderful place.  The piggy gate wasn’t closed because everyone was asleep.  Snicker – good for me.  The kitchen is where all of the food comes from.  I know this because I watch mommy in there making magic.  I waddled over to the big black food box.  With enough pressure from my snout, I was able to open the magical door.  A light went on and it scared me.  I jumped back and the magical door slid open.  WOW – for a moment I actually thought I heard angels singing.  I went over to investigate the glow and stuck my snout in the door.  SHUT THE FRONT DOOR – that thing was COLD – shivers.  I started moving things around and everything was as hard as a rock.  This must be what they call the freeze box.  Darn it – wrong part of the refrigerator.  I looked up to see the fridge part above the freezer.  Darn these short legs.  I couldn’t reach that part.

I guess I made some loud noises in my midnight adventure.  A few minutes later, mom came around the corner slowly peaking into the kitchen.  That’s how she found me.  Sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor, freezer open with that magical glow licking ice.  So, yeah, I guess it was fun and giggles at that time until she saw my back.  After that, she kind of freaked out and lost it.  She started getting fussy and playing doctor with it.  Geez mom, it’s just a little scrape.  She made me take some godforsaken medicine and put bubble stuff on my back.  Afterwards, she gave me a treat (which is always good), I went potty and she walked me back to bed. 

Yes, we also had a little prayer meeting about the Great Pig Escape and Midnight Adventure.  I won’t be doing that again anytime soon.

 

 
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You’re Not the Mommy

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You ask, “How can something so cute get into so much trouble?” The answer – by being so bad, talking back to daddy and having him make the dreaded call to mommy. Let me explain. 🙂

Yesterday morning, mom said I was as cute as a snuggle bug. I just wanted to sit on the couch with her all snuggled in my blankie. It was great. I was warm and she was loving on me. I could have spent the entire day like that.  But of course, she has to go to the worky place.  She put me to bed before she went.  But, it just wasn’t the same you know.  The body heat wasn’t there.  I had my special blankie but I wanted mommy.

Daddy was home but he’s not mommy.  I kept barking and grunting all day just giving him heck.  I made a mess in my room.  I tore up some of my towels, got a hold of the paper towels and made a shred fest, knocked over my garbage can and basically drove dad up the wall.  Sigh, I was so bad that he told me if I didn’t straighten up he was going to call mommy at work.  And guess what.  He did.  That’s not cool.   

He put mommy on speaker phone and she had a little piggy prayer meeting with me.  I know when not to grunt back so I listened.  I made up with dad and was good the rest of the day.  When mom got home, we had another come to terms meeting.  I didn’t get my special treat last night because of my behavior.  You better believe I’m going to be better today!

So, here’s looking for a brighter Tuesday – happy day!  XOXO Bacon

 
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