Dear Bacon – Pig Issue

Dear Bacon,

I love the old cowboy movies. They have convinced me that I want to be a cowboy when I grow up. Whatcha think? Signed Billy the Pig

Dear Billy the Pig,
You got the look. I say go for it. You can be anything you want to be. Wear it with pride!

Dear Bacon,

With all of these romantic vampire movies out lately, I think I want to go over to the dark side. I don’t want to sparkle. I just want to attract the girls. What do you think? Signed Edward Bacon

Dear Edward Bacon,
I love your cape. I myself have a cape fetish. You do know that vampires aren’t real, right? And don’t believe what they say about the dark side having better cookies. They don’t. Wear your cape and be yourself. I’m sure you’ll attract plenty of girls like that.

Dear Bacon,

I want to fly. Who would ever think that a pig was flying you in the next flight you take? I would be great out. You already know pigs can fly. What say you? Signed Flying Earhart

Dear Flying Earhart,
Go for it. I personally see no problem with it.

 

Dear Bacon

Dear Bacon,

After reading your column last week about a cat that does yoga, I thought what the heck. My master has a room for meditation so I tried it. This is called my sitting dog pose. I really does work on calming your nerves. Thanks little pig. Signed Peaceful Pal

Dear Peaceful Pal,
I’m glad it worked out for you. You do look really grounded in that picture. Keep up the great work!

Dear Bacon – hiccup,

My humans tell me that – slurred – I’m spending too much time with my close friend Jose. Hiccup. They don’t complain about me catting around on the streets anymore. They just don’t like my choice of friends. Hiccup. What should I do. Can they pick my friends? Signed Frisky Fiesta

Dear Frisky Fiesta,
You do understand that your friend Jose is not really ‘real’, right? Instead of having a problem with your choice of ‘friends’, you’re humans might want to look into some classes for you… With TAA (Tomcats Alcohol Anonymous). Perhaps you should lose the hat, get a new friend and start listening to the humans. Take care my friend.

Dear Bacon,

Are baths really necessary? They freak me out. Signed Wet Purrbie

Dear Wet Purrbie,
I love baths. They’re very relaxing. Especially when mom puts bubbles in the water. Instead of fighting it, embrace it. My purr things here love the water. We all do. After a bath, we all get our hair done – that is heaven. Find your happy place during bath time and learn to enjoy it.

Dear Bacon,

Just wanted to let you know man that we enjoy your posts. Happy Friday. Signed Don’t Worry Be Happy

Dear Don’t Worry Be Happy,
Thanks so much. It takes support and encouragement from fans like you to keep it going. I appreciate that. Happy Friday back to you.