Dear Bacon

 

Dear Bacon,

I need some help.  My master continues to dress me in this silly outfit.  I’m not a big fan.  When I wear it and we go out on the town, everyone is really sociable though.  They always say, “Hello Kitty”.  They’re really nice about it.  I on the other hand just can’t stand the outfit and I don’t get it.  What can I do?  Signed – Purr in Distress

Dear Purr in Distress,

You don’t get it do you… Hello Kitty?  Do you ever surf the net?  Do you ever google Hello Kitty?  You know what – go for it.  Wear it with pride.  You look really darling and I caught myself saying, “Hheelloo Kkiittyy.” 

 

 

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Dear Bacon,

See, I have talent too.  I love to ride my bicycle around our little village.  People see me rolling – they know I’m hip.  So it’s got training wheels – you gotta start somewhere and I love this thing.  You ever thought about riding a bicycle little pig?  Signed – Hip to the Hop

Dear Hip to the Hop,

Have you looked at me lately?  My legs are a little challenged.  My front legs are shorter than my back legs.  My tushy is made for comfort not speed.  I’m not into exercise unless it involves putting food into my mouth.  But, hey more to you dude.  Ride it with pride!

 

 

 

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Dear Bacon,

Every morning we get up and look at the window.  It’s our time to sit and reflect with each other.  Here lately, this stupid bird gets right in the window and puts his tail feathers in our faces.  What is up with that?!  What is this birds gone wild or something.  We are minding our own business and this chick has to do this?  What can we do?  Signed – Purr Things of Reflection

Dear Purr Things of Reflection –

You have to admit that’s kind of funny.  You know, I’m not saying ya’ll do, but a lot of purr things chase after birds.  Maybe this bird is “pigeonholing” ya’ll into one little category.  Thank you – I thought that was funny too.  Maybe try a different window in the house.  Maybe try ignoring the bird.  Reflect on my purr things and be the better kitty! 

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Dear Bacon,

Every morning my adopted father comes out of the shower naked.  I can’t help to look like this every time I see him.  I mean, why would you shower naked?  I don’t take my fur off, do you?  Will this shocked look ever stop?  Signed – My Face May Freeze

Dear  My Face May Freeze,

Hang in there little man.  Humans do weird things like that.  My mother likes to sit in the water full of bubbles in the dark with candles.  Now that is strange to me!  Seeing your parent without clothes is natural to them.  Be tough little guy.  It’ll become second nature to you soon.