Dear Bacon… Part II

19 Jun

Back by popular demand is the second issue of Dear Bacon. Remember, if you have any questions or comments, please email them to me at

Dear Bacon,

Unlike you, my parents tend to dress me up in the most ridiculous outfits possible. Take for instance this picture, flowers please? I look so stupid. What should I do – signed Pig Flower

Dear Pig Flower,

WOW – Words can not describe how you look – I’m speechless on the sight of your blooming flowers. With all those flowers, why don’t you visit some nursing homes and make some new friends. Maybe they can dress you up with more amusing… I mean attractive outfits?

Dear Bacon,

My mom says that my lipstick is too dark. I kind of like it and want to keep my look. What do you think? – Marilyn Guinea

Dear Marilyn,

You’re just worried about your lipstick color? Why not tone it down and add the color to your long toenails. I mean, you’ve got the look sweetheart – shake what your momma gave you. hubba hubba

Dear Bacon,

I absolutely love Spiderman. My parents made me an outfit last Halloween and I just can’t take it off. I wear it around the house and neighborhood. Mom has to take it off of me at night to wash. Do you think it’s weird of me to wear it all of the time? – Spidey Pig

Dear Spidey Pig,

I am so envious! I want an outfit too. My mom said she was looking for one for me. Is it weird? Is it weird for me to have an advice column? Is it weird for me to have my own web page and email address? Weird is what makes the world go around. The only people that are weird are people that don’t think they have weirdness in them. Vogue it Spidey Pig and strut!

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Posted by on 06/19/2012 in Uncategorized


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This piggy would love to snort with you :)

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