Dear Bacon – 1st Issue

Okay – the comments and questions have been pouring in for my new column, Dear Bacon.  This is the first issue that I like to put out.  If  you have questions that  you would like to ask, please send them to BaconThompson@gmail.com

Dear Bacon,

Often when I walk down the street, I feel as if people are staring out me.  I think it’s because of my tail.  It always goes up and won’t hang down naturally.  What should I do? –  Up in Tennessee

Dear Up in Tennessee,

We all have tail issues.  I think mine is slightly off centered.  I can tell when I look in the mirror.  There’s no need to feel self conscious about this.  People are staring because you are one fine looking speciman!  Let em’ stare – shake what your momma gave you with pride!

 

Dear Bacon,

I’m thinking of posing for Cat Spread.  Do you think I should? I think I’m beautiful – Puurrfecctly Beautiful

Dear Puurrfecctly Beautiful AKA Mouse –

Quit sending in questions.  You’re my sister.  I can’t make comments like that.  That’s sick.  Quit posing like that.  Have some dignity.  Geez – girls!

 

 

Dear Pig,

I have a problem with my master taking pictures of me.  He always gets me off guard and it always looks like well, like this.  What should I do pig? – Tiny in Barksville

Dear Tiny in Barksville,

WOW dude, you really don’t take good pictures.  Calm down, before you send some dobermans out to hunt me down let me tell you something.  You can always tell when the humans are going to start snapping.  They always go, “Don’t move, stay right there…”  That should be your first clue that they are fixing to get camera happy.  Maybe you should also practice your smile.  When the humans aren’t looking, look in the mirror and smile.  Practice, practice and practice – did I say practice?  Perfect that beautiful smile – I know you can.  So, you get the commands, start smiling.  Before too long,  you’ll be on those Christmas cards!