I’m thinking about getting a job. I’m a happening pig. I watch a lot of television. I surf the net. I’m a great listener. I read Dear Abby. I think I would be great at a column myself. Can you see it – Dear Bacon? I could take over the world with an advice column.
But, I need lots of practice. So, start the questioning. I can give life advice from a pigs point of view. I’ll try not to ham it up. Snort.
If you’ve been a long time fan, you remember the fiasco mom went through with the great kitchen gate. Snort – it was hilarious. If you don’t remember, I’ll bring you up to date.
Mom had this idea when she first adopted me that she didn’t want me in the kitchen unchaperoned. I know, silly idea wasn’t it? She got this idea that if I knew where food came from I would go crazy in trying to get to it. I’m not sure who put that crazy thought in her mind.
Well, mom went through several attempts in getting a gate put in the kitchen. She would order one and it would be too small, too big, wrong kind or not piggy proof. Ha as if. With each failed gate, I ruled and won. Until one day the gods sung in her favor and she finally got one that worked.
Said gate has been great in keeping my little hiney out of the kitchen…until today. See, that’s the problem with a pig. We are the Albert Einsteins of our breed. We will look at the situation and we will figure it out. Once it’s figured out, you have problems.
Take in part this wonderful kitchen gate. I looked at it, snouted it and watched how it works. I can hit the bottom part of the gate where it opens with my little powerful snout and guess what? I’m in the kitchen unchaperoned. So much for the great gate. Hee hee
Piglove 