Picture this with me on my little journey. You’re laying in bed deep in sleep, body all relaxed all snuggled in your blankets drooling… okay that part is me – LOL. Completely out to the world in your dream state in the darkness. No worries in the world. Then you hear it –
STOMP – STOMP – STOMP. I’m in my night time crate and I’m jumping up and down calling my mommy – “FEED ME MOMMY” – I’M STARVING! And on top of all of the STOMPING, you also hear
OINK OINK OINK – SNORT SNORT SNORT – STOMP STOMP STOMP.
You wake up startled and alert. It doesn’t matter how long I’ve been doing this – it still surprises you and you jump sitting straight up in bed shaking your head. Yeah, I think of this a daily service to you since you have to get up for work anyway. During the week – I’m very precise. I start my procedure right at 6:30AM. At least on the weekend I’ll give you until 7:30-8:00AM 🙂
And not only am I doing you a service by being your alarm clock, look at it like this. I’m just calling my mommy like I did my birth mother. And you know I’m an early morning lover. After breakfast of pig pellets and cheerios (I have to watch my cholesterol), I like to snuggle wuggle. I’m the sweetest during this time.
So if you need an alarm clock of my caliber, I can be rented out – snort 🙂 I gotta make mom some money so she can keep me accustomed to my way of living.